I awoke from a very
odd dream this morning. I was looking at this man holding up a book
he had written entitled “Mary, God of the Common Man”.
I thought catchy
title. Bet it won't take off and then I started thinking; she should
be.
I mean think about
it. Here is some poor girl from a family where her father is a rabbi
and there is some question about whether the mother is playing around
with a couple of angel guys because after 20 years the old man hasn't
delivered a single kid and is probably shooting blanks. Come Mary's
4th birthday or so, the angel guys come back around and
since she is cute and smart, they take her to the Essene school to be
raised and you can bet her parents wound up paying the tuition. There
were no free schools.
While she there
being the perfect daughter, studying hard and probably washing floors
(no mops or sponges or good soap and wax..we are talking rags and
water in leaky buckets here) along comes the God Guy that runs the
place and says he has decided she gets the honor of bearing his baby
and none of the fun because he's not hanging around. Wow, I bet the
other kids had a great time with that one taunting her. You get the
idea: like mother, like daughter. They probably weren't buying the
angel stuff 'so we get the best looking young girls and the best
food' either from the angels.
The local Essenes
aren't too keen on young pretty virgins being pregnant in their care
so they marry her off to some old guy named Joseph, that she's never
seen before, and he immediately takes off with whatever they paid him
and doesn't show up until he finds out he needs her and the little
bastard for tax purposes. She's about to pop and off they go,
probably him riding the mule and her walking a respectful ten paces
behind dodging mule poop, until she goes into labor and gets dropped
off in a cave until the Joe man gets back from town with a midwife.
He's gone so long, as he probably made a stop in the local bar, that
by the time he gets back with the midwife (probably the other Mary's
mother if you get my drift), this inexperienced little girl has given
birth by herself, cleaned the baby up (no water), wrapped him in some
rags and fallen asleep. Next thing she knows a bunch of creepy
foreign guys with camels show up claiming this is the son of God,
which is the story the Essenes gave her, with real practical gifts
like air fresheners and they probably needed it to cover the odor of
alcohol because I got five bucks they and Joe concocted this story
in the bar to explain the wife of a couple of months he never slept
with....and the baby. Didn't do to piss the local Essenes off if he
wanted more money and business and lets not forget the tax man.
So for the next
thirty or so years, she throws her heart and soul into being a good
wife and remember we are talking about an Orthodox Jewish house with
two sets of dishes to clean and two sets of food to cook for every
meal along with those visits from the rabbi to make sure the house is
clean and in order. You can bet every time there was a tiny slip up
she got reminded of the 'virgin birth' and every time the little
bastard slipped up it was all, “where's baby daddy when you need
money for food and tuition?”
And let's talk about
he who was no peach in this orchard. After wiping up poop, cleaning
the little butt, scrounging food, staying up all night, and working
her little ass off taking care of this baby, does she get the Jewish
mother's dream of a doctor, a lawyer or even a carpenter? Heck no!
She gets some layabout that hangs out with his 12 same sex friends
and prostitute, eating (I saw a ham in one of those last supper
paintings), drinking and claiming to turn water into wine or more
likely they were too drunk to notice the cheap stuff he was passing
off as wine, and pissing off the local rabbis and bankers to the
point they have the Romans lock him up and execute him.
Then what happens?
Do you read anything about Joe man getting him a lawyer? Oh, no, she
has to provide the money for the funeral and the best she can do is a
cheap cave with a big rock and then Baby Daddy shows up and steals
the body claiming he's the Dad now...sure where was he at three in
the morning when little son of god has colic and diarrhea? Or brings
home a prostitute like he can't find a nice Jewish girl?....and
declares son part of a holy trinity one of which is imaginary. The
poor woman has worked all her life because this God guy rapes her to
be an upstanding good Jewish wife and mother and not only does he
blow the lie that this is Joe's kid but comes off the crazy uncle.
In the end what does
poor Mary really get? She gets less mention in the biography her
son's, probably drunken, friends write than the prostitute. When she
has a book written about her, the 'priests' throw it out of the Bible
because she's a woman and not good enough to have a chapter in their
great holy book about the kid she raised because you know Joe wasn't
hanging around the little bastard. The money for that gig probably
stopped at the marriage certificate. I bet she had to save money out
of the food budget to pay for school.
She gets screwed by
the establishment (god), spends her whole life working her little ass
off to pay for a meager life and tries to raise a good kid. What does
she get? Nothing but the honor of birthing the “son of God”!
What does the kid
get for spending time telling everyone to love one another: godhood.
Oddly, that line didn't fly during the 60's.
And just to put the
cherry on this sundae, who gets all the credit and press? Why, that
would be baby daddy who claims to be God with his imaginary friend
the Holy Ghost.
If she were sitting
here today I think I know exactly what she would say to you. “Virgin
Birth? It hurts just as much as unvirgin birth and I was in labor for
nine hours. I had to walk into Bethlehem. You ever try to balance a
squirming, screaming newborn and hold onto a donkey? No can do and
the old bastard kept saying his arthritis was hurting him and he
needed the mule. Arthritis? More like his hangover? I wash, I clean,
I cook, I scrimp and save for that boy's education and what do I get?
Criticism because I can't afford a nice supper and funeral. That
water to wine crack was about me not having the good stuff for his
hoard of drunken friends. And after all these years, who shows up
playing crazy god? Huh, who?? His daddy and steals the body to do who
knows what!”
Yes, she should be
the god of every women who has ever given birth and had to raise a
baby. She should be the god of the common man: screwed and then has
to spend her life cleaning up the consequences of the establishment
(god) and paying to do it; then pink slipped with a bad review for
the last office party. And all she gets a couple of lines...birthed
him...buried him and no credit in the final corporate report.
And you are
worshiping the corporation and the CEO...real smart.
