Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The New Pattern of my Life: Darning the Pillow

My new mornings and days.....

I'm not complaining, just adapting. It is sort of like you would decide on a new exercise routine or new job. Adjustments have to made and old habits discharged.
Habits are not a bad thing, though they get a bad reputation. Habits can have two functions depending on the type of person you are. My professor and mentor used to say there are two types of people: watch dogs and bird dogs. Watch dogs bark at everything new and retreat to their dog houses to hide if the new thing gets too close or they attack and try to kill it. Bird dogs are always out hunting for new things. You may send them out to retrieve a bird but there is no guarantee they will return with your bird or even with a bird. They just delight in bringing something new home to examine and use. Unfortunately for society, there are a thousand watch dogs to every bird dog. The actions of both dogs are based on habit it is just how they interpret and use the habit that differs. The Watch Dog uses the habit, its house, to hide from anything new. The Bird Dog uses the habit, its owner and retrieving pattern to seek out new things to learn. It works the same way with magic. At first every little thing must be coordinated and learned painstakingly and then it becomes rote and done instantly.
That was something I learned this morning to my amazement. All night I have derided the cats for tracking litter into the bed. When I got up this morning, I had the stuff attached to my leg and it was almost impossible to remove. The situation has been getting worse all weekend until this morning I thought I was in the kitty pan. In the bathroom with strong glasses on, now that I no longer have 20/20 vision due to the diabetes, I saw the pieces were strangely uniform in size and shape and prone to static electricity. This is why I couldn't get them off my leg. Now this was strange because litter is neither. I was ready to kill a cat when I discovered a few minutes later my favorite pillow, the little heart one that is the perfect size to prop my leg up at night, was bleeding microbeads due to several cat holes.
This presents a new problem as there is no way I can see to thread a needle. Then I remembered seeing a sewing kit on my nightstand when I cleaned up with what I thought were prethreaded needles. Thank you what ever hotel (It has an H on it so I am thinking Hilton) that put these in the rooms and Neutrogena for making them. (I don't make it a habit of staying at expensive hotels as I can't afford to travel any more, but back when I was working in psychiatry, I had to travel and take classes to keep my licenses up to date.) These prethreaded needles should be available in the craft store. It came with basic colors of thread, about two feet and lovely sharp needles. I set about darning the pillow which had a total of 4 holes in it.
It has been at least fifteen years since I hand darned anything. The first knot was awkward and the first stitches. Then I fell into a familiar, rote pattern. The little pillow was darned in no time without me even thinking about what I was doing. It must be the thousandth thing I have darned in my life and now it is as easy a breathing again, even with a decade break from darning.
Hence my new life will be a little hard to learn but eventually it will be a pattern, a jumping off point for the rest of my day. I awake and instead of grabbing the cup of Joe, I have to grab the test kit and test myself. Then I weigh myself and then I inject the insulin and take the pill. Then and only then can I have my infusion of coffee, now with a powdered whitener instead of the sugar laden organic milk. My PA suggests in case of a hypoglycemic attack to drink 8 ounces of milk because the sugar hits instantly and protein will carry you and maintain the sugar level for a couple of hours. All these years, I thought orange juice was the way to go but it just provides the sugar high and then you drop like a rock. I am learning.

I guess even an old Bird Dog can learn new tricks. Actually I think I am a cat because ordered to retrieve, I am more likely to give you the finger and go do what I want to......well, not any more....

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