The Astrology of Attraction
Whenever love and sex are mentioned in astrology, you hear about Mars, Venus and the Moon. There are three planets astrologers shy away from and unfortunately they are the trouble makers in relationships or I should say, non-relationships. These are the planets you have to know about in your chart because those 3 planets are getting any action with the other person's chart, you have the recipe for disaster.
When I worked in psychiatry, we often had people coming in to 'work on their relationship'. The thing is, if a relationship is going to work, it doesn't require work. I would sneak back to my desk, pull up the birth dates and look at the planets and giggle. They had fallen into the attraction trap. There was no relationship to work on between those two people.
Here's how it works and it is interesting because every 5 years or so, the image of the beautiful people in Hollywood changes, sometimes dramatically. However, if you keep track of Uranus and his aspects, you can not only predict who will rise to fame but even what colors will be popular. You see, Uranus is the planet of sudden attractions. My Uranus is in Cancer, and my Sun, Mercury and Jupiter are in Pisces, all water planets. One of my first serious attractions was with a Cancer. After that quick disaster, I swore off all water signs. What happens in a Uranian attraction is as soon as it is satisfied, it ends. It's that embarrassing moment when you wake up next to the person and wonder if you can tiptoe out only to discover you are in your own bedroom. There is no need to worry, wait an hour and they will tiptoe out.
Worse problems develop when there are strong aspects to Neptune, the planet of illusion, wishful thinking and denial. Neptunian attractions are spiritual, like finding your soul mate but NOT! What you find is an illusion you have created or worse, a psychopath who is pretending to be just what you always wanted. We once had a man who was married to several women at the same time. Unfortunately for him, they found out. The fascinating thing was, they all looked enough alike to be sisters. Now he swore he carefully chose his victims based on their psychology not appearance. Physical appearance tends to be mostly your rising sign and partially your sun sign. He was choosing women whose sun or rising sign was the same as his Neptune's sign. That gave him the power of illusion over them. Thus, they all looked alike. Neptune is the one planet in a chart you really want to watch out for because it can be the position in which you lie to yourself and you are most easily deceived. Now, when you have a solely Neptunian attraction, it usually never gets acted upon and is just plain confusing. Neither person figures out the others' motives because neither has any motives. It's like trying to have a relationship in a deep fog. My Neptune is in Libra and as I say, I think I dated a Libra once. He kept giving me tickets to events and then he might show up but usually not. But, if you add Uranus into the mix that is when they are working on their relationship. Good old Neptune will keep throwing them back together for Uranus to light the flame and once more they are wondering why they are there or how they got there. These are the people who marry, divorce and marry again ad infinitum. It is also where the erroneous belief that opposites attract comes from so keep in mind opposites may attract but they don't stay together well.
Lastly comes the dangerous spark to the mix and that is old Pluto. Pluto is the planet of transformation and also of fatal violence. That last part everyone seems to be very keen on sweeping under the carpet. Any relationship in which Pluto is prominent will be transforming but not necessarily in a good way and seldom if ever in an easy way. Add some hard aspects to Uranus or a placement in the 12th house and you could wind up dead. Throw Neptune into the mix and run as fast as you can. What could go wrong? Everything and you'll never quite figure out what if you survive.
So, Mars, Venus and the Moon may be nice, literally, but it's the heavy planets you need to really watch in a relationship. They can be the ties that strangle.